Earl Gray Tea
by HelloFire
Summary: God I was not ready to write this summary...Okay well, when a girl on the Moby Dick named Gray Earl Napoleon meets a guy named Portgas D Ace, will magic happen? Spoiler Alert: magic does happen! Yosh, I gave it my best shot! Rated T because I'm a Swear Machine! (You can almost FEEL the cringe behind that summary. Uhg)
"In the beginning, there was nothing. Then a divine being, a being called God decided that it was time for some action and fun."

"Stop, it doesn't go like that…"

"Well, you know what? No one gives two shits. So shut up. Well anyways, he said 'Let there be a body and a Heaven!' and he made Earth and a Heaven. Then he separated light from dark and named them morning and night, respectively. That was the first day and God sat back, admiring his handiwork. Then, on the second day, he decided to make skies and thus, a sky was made. However, on the third day, he grew bored again and commanded, 'Let there be let there land and seas!" and so the land and seas came to be. Then he dotted the land with plants of all kinds and went to sleep, satisfied. When he woke the fourth day, God decided to create stars and heavenly bodies. These are of course, super important to us as they help with navigation. Then next day, the...um...fifth day I think? Well, he made all the creatures that roamed on this land, regardless of whether it lived in the sky, land, or the sea. Everything was made except for man. On the sixth and final day, God created man, one male, one female, and the one outstanding individual, moi-"

"That's not how the legend goes, you idiot!"

A fist came down on my head as I tried to protect my poor brain with my hands. However, it was pretty obvious that my tiny girl hands were going to do squat against Thatch's huge chef hands.

I sat on the floor of the Main Dining hall of the Moby Dick with a large red welt already forming on my forehead, fake tears sprouting from my significant flame red eyes. A ring of pirates encircled me and the pompadous bastard cook named Thatch, "That hurt Not nice! Bad! Bad boy!"

"I can't help that you're so easy to tease," Thatch crouched down next to me, now speaking as if I were a little kid no older than five, "After all, you're just ooooooonnnnnneeee inch tall."

"Shut up! I'm five three, you dumby! I'm not Thumbelina! And so what if you're almost six feet. Height doesn't determine how strong you are and last time I checked, wow," I got up to my feet, adjusting my watch and wristband, going on my tip toes to get a little more even with the tall chef, "I had a WHOOOOOOOOOLE lotta wins against you!"

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the smartest idea ever, but I was in a teasing mood and my fists were itching for some battle. Thatch raised an eyebrow, barely controlling his annoyance, but got into a fighting stance and gestured towards me. Come on.

"GRAY!"

I screamed, Captain Whitebeard's booming voice taking me by surprise. As a defense reflex, I activated my devil fruit and jumped...right through the ceiling. Ah, my poor head. I shall treat you after I talk smack about Whitebeard to my own reflection in the mirror.

"What?" Stumbling a bit after I landed, I walked (more like fell) out of the main dining hall and onto the deck.

"I'll need about half a million beli for the ceiling. But before that," I picked myself and straightened my hair a bit, brushing the dark brown strands out of my eyes and behind my ears. Whitebeard towered over me, and when I meant towered, I meant like a five Gray building. I had to actually lean back a few inches just to meet his steely eyes, "You're our resident useless," "USELESS?!" "drifter," "DRIFTER?!" "who can't do squat except punch things."

"I CAN DO STUFF! I CAN DO A LOTTA THINGS BESIDES PUNCHING LIKE….LIKE….UM….drain your funds with my food bills? That's a skill right?"

I heard a collective facepalm from behind me and was almost ready to go punch my crew mates when I say it.

It.

It was slung over Whitebeard's shoulder.

It was bloody. Very bloody.

It was hurt. Very hurt. Probably. I don't know, I'm not it.

It's face was turned towards me. And the first thought that struck me when I saw it was-

"Hot damn."

Whitebeard narrowed his eyes at me, probably more confused than angry, "Excuse me?"

"Who's it?" I asked, my voice slightly giddy. A cloud of sparkles started to appear around me as my eyes glittered.

It had beautiful semi long black hair and a splash of beautiful freckles that seemed childish yet special at the same time and his shirt was open and ugh the ABS! Oh my god, spare me, those beautiful. Frickin'. Abs.

Fuck.

Did I mention those beautiful abs? I don't thinks so. Allow me.

THOSE ABS THOUGH.

UHG.

MWUA. MWUA. MWUA.

BEAUTIFUL. PERFECT. GAWWWD. MMMMMMMM-

"If by it you mean this guy," Whitebeard softly patted it's head, making it's perfect hair bounce ever so slightly...and another sparkle appeared around my currently growing crowd of girl hormone sparkles, "this guy's name is Ace."

ACE YOU BEAUTIFUL PERFECT BABY.

"And he's going to be part of our crew."

"AH YES!" I screamed, running happy circles around Whitebeard's enormous stature, "WE CAN KEEP HIM! YAY!"

"I was going to ask you to be his...jail keeper, I guess, since he is a pretty hot blooded guy, but now I'm kind of hesitant…"

My eyes widened and literally became balls of pure light and I sank to me knees, ready to beg for this position, "No. I'm calm now. I'm okay. Yes. I'm fine. Let me be his jailer. Please."

Almost immediately, I could hear shrieks of "Too bright!" and "My eyes!". Okay. So maybe I wasn't super calm, but I was ready for this position. It was about time for this job. This beautiful amazing job with this panty dropper Ace- no Gray. Calm the fuck down. Thank you.

"Ah, fine. Everyone else is too busy anyways."

Whitebeard laid Ace's body down and I crawled over to him, draping myself over his abs (UGH THOSE FABULOUS ABS) and started drooling, my eyes large and sparkly. Behind my back, I could hear Marco whispering, "I feel like we just signed his death warrant."

"Marco!" I drew myself up and wiped the spit from the corner of my mouth, "I love him and I'm going to make sure that I'm the best jail keeper ever!"

"Why did I sign up for this?"

I sat back, leaning my weary body on the deck of the Moby Dick as I rested for the for the first time in nearly two days.

"Aw, Gray," Twitching my eyebrow in annoyance, I craned my head back to see the ever so welcomed form of Marco-the-Fabulous-Fucking-Phoenix-Who-Deserves-to-be-Pushed-Into-the-Sea-so-He-Can-Fucking-Drown, "Giving up already? I thought you were going to become the 'best jail keeper ever!'"

"Shut the hell up."

"But I don't want to, Gay."

"Well, you should…..Marco! Uhg, why do you have to have a name that's so hard to make fun of?"

"I dunno Gay, why is my name so hard to make fun of?" I clenched my fist and drew in a shaky breath, keeping myself under control.

"But seriously, this Ace kid is really persistent," I casted my eyes towards the 17 year old currently knocked out. My intense infatuation with him and his abs ended almost as soon as he woke up. Three words. Nonstop. Assassination. Attempts. Ace drove me nuts as he tried without stopping to kill Whitebeard. It was my job to keep him in check and every time he snuck off while I slept, ate, or even went to the bathroom, I was yelled at.

"You need some help with that job?" I raised an eyebrow at Marco's sudden kindness, "I can watch over him while you take a break."

"No thanks," Heaving a sigh, I took my place on the woven net above Ace's head, "I don't trust you."

As if it were planned, the second I turned down Marco's request and started settling back to rest, Ace's eyes snapped open.

"Whitebeard!"

"Fuck off, child!" I yelled down to him and with a gesture of my hand, I successfully pinned him down with my devil fruit powers. Looking rather pleasantly towards him, I smiled sweetly when I saw the boy struggle against his strange, rock like shackles, "Sleep tight now, since you're not getting out of those anytime soon."

And with that note, I snuggled into the surprisingly comfy ropes and promptly fell asleep.

At least I was sleeping for what felt like a few seconds. The next thing I knew, warm hands were wrapped around my waist.

"Sexual Assau-"

Then I realized I had nothing underneath my feet and then the warm hands were gone and Ace was watching me fall like a happy bastard and then I was flying through the sky and I realized the sky was dark and that that happy bastard broke out of his chains and he was a logia and no one was up at such a late time and I was falling, falling, falling, falling-

The crushing darkness and freezing water hit me like a truck. The sea tossed me to one side and then with a mighty roar, slammed me against the Moby Dick with impossible strength. I clawed at the air in front of me, grasping nothing but the same chilling water as my strength slowly failed me. My lungs heaved, trying to gather air but all that came in was the deadly sea. A strange nostalgic fear came over me as I thrashed, helpless and alone. There was nothing below my feet and I wasn't in control of anything.

Just like back then when I first stepped near an ocean. Just like when I was tossed into it's fray and unable to do anything by lie there limply, praying for someone to rescue me. Except this time, there wouldn't be any one.

I was going to die.

I, after all my struggles and all my battles, was going to die. Without a goodbye or a I'm sorry, I would be erased from this world.

Almost immediately, I stopped struggling as the sea rejected my existence and pushed me under. My eyes squinted, barely able to see the pale glow of the moon anymore and finally, in the abnormally placid and serene dark waters, I surrendered to the ocean.

A burst of air filled my lungs and my eyes opened in surprise. I was alive. I was frickin' alive.

Suddenly, I felt the warmth on my lips disappear and saw Ace's face appear in my vision. Slowly, I pieced the puzzle together and raised a hand.

A loud smack sound rang through the night, the noise startling me. After all, the sea is strong but so quiet. So deathly quiet.

Tears ran down my cheeks as I stared at Ace who currently still had his head turned, his grey eyes clouded with guilt while a large red hand mark ebbed into existence on his face. The saltine tears ran hard and fast as I tried to restrain myself with no avail and just started full on sobbing.

"You!" I spluttered, hair still dripping and clothes still wet, "Why did you save me? You're a devil fruit user too, right? So why? If I did watch over a dangerous crewmate close enough and they managed to toss me into the ocean, then it's my fault. My responsibility and my punishment."

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" Ace screamed, now equally furious, "You're alive and not dead, right? Your life must mean something to someone so why are you throwing it away so easily?" The black haired man gripped onto my arm almost painfully as he stared angrily into my eyes, "At least your life means something! At least you don't have demon blood coursing through your veins! At least you are worth keeping alive! At least you have people who want you to live so why are you giving up so early?"

I felt a fresh wave of tears come over me and cursing myself for being so weak, so stupid, and so absolutely useless, I pressed up against Ace's chest, and listened to his steady heartbeat as he wrapped his arms around me. It felt so secure and so stable that it only made me sob even harder, my voice now cracking and dying in my throat as I choked.

"I don't wanna die!"

 **If you guys want the Author's Notes, meet me on my quotev account which is in my profile description. Yah so..yeah. (God I'm so bad endings)**


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